Connie took her last journey on Tuesday afternoon. It was so hard to let you go, sweetheart, but you were beginning to suffer so much. I've never known a rattie as cantankerous as Connie. She was an alpha. And she was a fighter. And she never lost her title. I opted not to have a biopsy taken, but the vet was sure the tumour was malignant due to its hardness and rapid growth rate, which was shocking.

Near the end, Connie took up her home in the hospital cage where she needed peace. I'll always remember the night and that feeling of dread in my stomach when my finger pressed against a small hard lump. The vet removed it within days and we all had high hopes. But within a week, three new hard lumps appeared beneath the scar, which the vet thought might be an allergic reaction to the stitches and prescribed Baytril. But, sadly, it was not to be, sweetheart. The vet then prescribed Galastop, but it seemed there was no stopping the spread of these tumours, and everything you seemed to eat, Connie, was going into feeding them and not you. It was all so shockingly fast.

Then last Monday night as I was feeding you, Connie, I knew you were dying, and with a large tumour which was beginning to ulcerate, and with a next-to-zero immune system, I noticed mites breaking out through your skin. I was up all night, for hours trying to catch as many as I could. I knew then it was time, sweetheart, for you to take your last journey. You were so weak. You were so thin. And your breathing was so rapid.

We said our goodbyes. The vet took you into a little room. I couldn't bear to watch. And forgive me, Connie, for being such a coward. He said it was so peaceful, and for this I am thankful.

I have you buried in our little garden, but I know the real you, Connie, is now running free and playing hard. And this is how I'll always remember you, sweetheart; so full of life, quirkiness, a high sense of adventure, bundles of energy; always on the lookout for your favourite boy; your stashing of near whole packets of Yoggies in mouthfuls behind my bed, and the lengths you would go to to avoid me detecting you getting them there, among other items, and your loathing of the feather wand, which you frequently "killed" over and over, night after night.

Herbie, Charlie, Jonah, and Noah, Phoebe, and especially little Molly, and goes without saying, your Mummy, are missing you like crazy, sweetheart. A cantankerous Connie, yes, but we all loved you beyond words. You were truly unique.

Goodnight, sweetheart,

Forever in my heart, with all my love,

Mummy x x x

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